Hockey Hottie of the Week

So last week Sunday, I was really busy and forgot to do a Hockey Hottie of the Week. This is the first one in two weeks!! You're dying for some sexiness, aren't you? Well, today's HHOTW i-is... Alex Edler of the Vancouver Canucks!! Alex Edler is Swedish and has great hair. He wore skinnies to the Canucks jeans day. He's currently injured because his back has got ouchies, but he's one of the Canucks' best defensemen and has a flair for the offensive.

More LOLHockey

'Cause you know how much you love it!

Sorry, not as many this time. But I think they're also funnier, so it all evens out.

(By the way, I know I'm supposed to do Around the League today, but I can't look at Nhl.com because the Canucks game is on the PVR and then I'll see the score. So I'll do it after I watch the game. If I have time!)

Why Do Non-Canucks Fans Hate The Sedins?

While surfing the Internet, I obviously come across hockey blogs by non-Canucks fans. That's to be expected. But why do they say things like, "They're gay", "They're creepy", and other (inappropriate) nasty comments. Why do people say that? They're brothers for goodness sakes! How could they be gay?

And what's creepy about twins? If you see a couple of adorable twin girls toddling about at the beach, you would be all over them! Henrik and Daniel are two brothers who look exactly the same and share all their DNA. There's nothing creepy about that. Twins are all over the world.

And so, they do everything together. How does that make them gay? They've known each other all their lives, and are not only twin brothers, but best friends. I don't think it's right to call the Sedin twins gay.

And how about this sisters thing? Sure, when they first came into the NHL they were a little weaker, needed to put on some muscle still. Even now, they're not real big hitters, they don't agitate or frustrate. But you know what, haters? You have to be tough to play hockey. And you have to be tough to fight through numerous crosschecks to the back, punches, hits, high-sticks, and all other sorts of should-be-penalties that the refs don't notice, because the twins are such good sports.

Plus, the twins are genuinely nice guys. They lead the team really well, the do a lot of charity work and have even donated over a million dollars to the BC Children's hospital. They're not cocky or proud, in fact they're unbelievably humble.

And finally, to all you haters out there, last year Henrik Sedin beat out Sidney Crosby, Alex Ovechkin, and all the other elite players in the league to win not only the Art Ross, but also the Hart as the league's MVP. This year, Daniel's leading the scoring race with 18 games left to play, beating Ovechkin, Stamkos, and an injured Crosby. So don't be hatin' on the Sedins.

Hockey Is The Most Exciting Sport: When It's Exciting, That Is

That. Was the most boring hockey game I've seen in a very, very long time. And there wasn't even the satisfaction of a win by the Canucks.

LOLHockey

Have you ever heard of LOLCats? Yeah, it's those silly looking cats with poor grammar. Well, I now bring to you... duh duh duh duuuuh... LOLHockey! Silly hockey pictures explained by myself. Some pictures just defy explanation, so of course I have to try! Without further ado... the first ever edition of LOLHockey!

Well, there you have it. Enjoy. I'll admit, I'm having second thoughts about some of them. Some of them don't seem quite as funny as they did before. But seeing as there's nobody around to laugh at my jokes (sniff), it should be alright. Welcome to LOLHockey; I hope there shall be more in the future.

Why Are The Sedins So Futile In The Shootout?

Last night's game went eight rounds of the shootout, and surprisingly, Luongo played very well in it. Even more surprisingly, the Canucks won in shootout. (For just the third time this year.) Even more surprisingly, Raffi Torres scored the shootout-winning goal. Shocking, isn't it? Well, not really. You forget that Torres played parts of 3 seasons with Columbus. He had inside information on Steve Mason.

But both of the Sedins had a chance to win it in the shootout, and failed. And both attempts didn't look very good, either. Daniel is 4-for-21 in his career (a mere 19%) while Henrik is 0-for-4 in his career. When both of these twins possess superior skill, a knack with the puck, and overall Wizardous Sedinerie, why so futile?

I only have one answer. Daniel can only score when Henrik passes to him, and Henrik just feels lost out there without the guy he automatically passes to whenever he gets the puck. Why can't they both go at the same time? They're practically the same person anyway!

About Nicknames... Extended!

The second post I ever made was entitled, "About Nicknames..." In it, I gave players' current nicknames, and created some of my own. At the trade deadline, the Canucks acquired three new players. So it's my job to create some creative nicknames for the noobs.

Here's the original post:

Today I want to talk about... Canucks nicknames!! Some of them have nicknames, some of them need nicknames... and others, well, take some imagination to think of a nickname for them. I'm going to make a list of current nicknames, and for each player make my own suggestion. Unless, of course, I can't think of anything better. Some of them have really, awesome nicknames!!

Andrew Alberts- A Minor, the A Train, AHLberts. Mine: Double A.

Jonas Andersson- none. I got nothing. This kid played like 2 games for us.

Keith Ballard- Bally, Hips. Mine: Goalie Killer.

Kevin Bieksa- Juice.

Mario Bliznak- none. Again, 2 games!!

Alexandre Bolduc- Duke, Duker.

Alexandre Burrows- Burr, Frack.

Guillame Desbiens- none. Mine: Guillame "thumb-inside-fist" Desbiens.

Alexander Edler- The Ice Man. Mine: Eddy.

Christian Ehrhoff- Bobby Hoff, the Hoffster, Blast-Off Hoff.

Tanner Glass- none. Mine: Tanner "Scrabble Champ" Glass, Tanner "Fights-Bears" Glass.

Dan Hamhuis- Hammy.

Jannik Hansen- The Great Dane. Mine: Jannik "Hard-worker" Hansen.

Ryan Kesler- Kes, Frick. Mine: Kes the Mess, Ryan "I hate Canada" Kesler, Grumpy, Gold-medal Baby-maker. (If you read Pass It to Bulis you'll know what I mean.)

Roberto Luongo- Bobby Lu, LUUUUUUU.

Manny Malhotra- none. Mine: Manny "Faceoff" Malhotra. (That's the only thing he's known for.)

Ryan Parent- none. Mine: Ryan "The Other Ryan" Parent. Like I said before, I don't know anything about this guy.

Joel Perrault- none. Mine: Joel "Who?" Perrault.

Mason Raymond- MayRay, MayRay Go-Round. Mine: Mason "Put out the Flames" Raymond. (He gets lots of hat tricks against the Flames.) Speedy Gonzales, because of his speed.

Aaron Rome- Romer. I got nothing else. Maybe, Aaron "In n' Out" Rome? He's in and out of the lineup a lot.

Rick Rypien- The Rypper, Pitbull. There's none better than that.

Sami Salo- Sami Solo, the Finnish MacInnis. Mine: Sami "Piece of Glass" Salo, Sami "Ouchie" Salo, Walking Disaster. Sami "Ruptured Testicle" Salo... The list of testicle-related nicknames goes on. Knock yourself out.

Mikael Samuelsson- Sammy. Mine: Mikael "they can go eff themselves" Samuelsson, Mikael "no Team Sweden for you" Samuelsson.

Peter Schaefer- none. Mine: Peter "The Suit Guy" Schaefer. All I know about him is that he gets custom-made suits. And he's with the Moose.

Cory Schneider- Schneids, Ginger Lou, Schneiderman, Ginger Jesus. Mine: Cory "the Playmaker" Schneider. (He has 3 assists on the year.)

Daniel Sedin- Brother Daniel, Danny, Dank. Mine: Daniel "Out for Blood" Sedin, Daniel "The Other Sedin", Daniel "Brent Gretzky" Sedin.

Henrik Sedin- Hank, Hanky. Mine: Henrik "Captain" Sedin, Henrik "Art Ross" Sedin, "Henrik "MVP" Sedin, Henrik "All-Star" Sedin. (Get the picture?)

Sergei Shirokov- Shiro. (What an original nickname.) Mine: Smiley. This guy smiles all the time, plus, it's way shorter than his real name.

Jeff Tambellini- Tamby. Mine: Teeny, Meanie, anything that rhymes with the last bit of his name... Jeff "The Third" Tambellini. (His dad and his grandpa were both in the NHL, and his dad is now a GM.)

Christopher Tanev- none. Mine: I would say Tanner, but Glass... Umm, he's played 2 NHL games, so I gotta get to know this kid a little more before I start pegging him.

Raffi Torres- none. Mine: Raffi "Bulgy Eyes" Torres, Raffi "Tattoo" Torres, Raffi "Don't mess with me" Torres, Raffi "Streaky" Torres, Raffi "Scores a hat trick in one game and doesn't score another for 15 games" Torres, Raffi "HIT SOMEBODY!!" Torres. (Man, this guy has a lot of possibilities...)

Aaron Volpatti- Peppermint Patti!! This guy has the best nickname on the entire team!! No way could I make another suggestion on this one. Hands down, Patti, you win.

Cody Hodgson- CoHo. Mine: Hodgepodge, Hedgehog. Just because his name reminds me of those words.

Well, that's it. If somebody has a better idea, then just give me a shout. I'd love to hear your ideas! (Anybody? Anybody? Are you out there?) 


Chris Higgins- none (that I know of.) Mine: Higgy, Gettin' Higgy wit' it.

MacGregor Sharp- none (that I know of.) Mine: Mr. MacGregor (you know, Peter Rabbit?), Sharpie, Mac, Big Mac, Greg.

Maxim Lapierre- Max? Mine: Perry, Lappy, Maxim "Laperriere"/Ian (since his name gets misspelled/mispronounced all the time and he gets confused with Ian Laperriere), Yappus Maximus, Maxim Yappierre , Yapper Extraordinerre, Yap to the Max, True Yappiness, Pursuit of Yappiness (he's a noted yapper), Maximum Awesomeness, Maximum Effort, Maximum Frenchness (even more than Alex Burrows?).

Well, that's that. All the nicknames I need to do this year. I found it quite fun to make up nicknames for Lapierre, but MacGregor Sharp was harder and Chris Higgins was near impossible. If I think of any more I'll add them, don't worry.